A Woman's Role...?

The role of a woman? Once defined as a bearer of the next heir to the throne, then defined as a perfect pin up with hair in place and a kept home. Broke free as independent with rights and abilities only to find a role of expectations. We came so far in a world of feminism that we now have to fight with our identity to just be, a woman. We feel inadequate as a mom, as a house wife, as a woman who supports her man. We feel inadequate if we have not made it to the top, inadequate if we do not have a career a goal, if we cannot do what men can do. We are equal, correct? Anything you can do I can do better... right? Why can we not just be a support to our partner, our partner who happens to be a man. A man of strength, a man who sets the path, makes the plans, leads us. Why? Is it really our struggle in the "we can do it" way of thinking; or is it, that our men have forgotten how to be men and therefore we are forced now, to consume both roles.


I, am a woman who works in the field of men and can keep up. Yet I am a woman who can cook and clean and enjoys the idea of being a man's wife and a child's mother. I am also a woman who has many career opportunities set in front of her. Do I pick a role, do I pick one, do I pick all. Am I discouraged if I cannot wear all shoes, am I lame if I choose to wear no shoes. What if all I want is to be a mom. What if all I want is to play in the field of men. What if all I want is to choose a career that takes me away from all that is domestic. What if all I want, is all?

I look to Oprah, Joan of Ark, Mother Teresa. What about Eve, Ruth and Jezebel. All these woman of influence, hundreds of years ago or decades ago. Are they really our role models? Should we really strive to be any of these woman or should we begin to embrace the woman that we are. The more we strive to be these woman of great influence the more we fail. This, then, should be when we don't strive to be any woman, other than the women that God created us to be. The minute we begin to see that God has created us, women, in his image. Women for this world; this minute when we begin to embrace our significance in this world, regardless of the outward role we take. The minute we see Him, that is when we begin to see us. Our significance, our beauty, our grace, our power, our strength; our image, in Him the creator. That minute, is when we win. No, this is not a game we play with others, this is not a game at all. This is a battle, a war of sort, with ourselves, with our image. This is not a game, it is us, you and I, women; and we are something worth fighting for...

Listen, let go and enjoy you.

As women we get so caught up in how we are supposed to be, what role do we play. So much freedom has been fought for us, rights have been given, equality taken. Yet now, we fear what our identity reflects, and we strive to find our true identity. We are not always the mother, the fighter, the athlete, the woman at the top. We want so much yet sometimes have no idea where to start. We have desires in our heart, but no desire to be. As a mother we miss our career. As a career woman we long for children and family. As the tough broad  we yearn to be weak. We seek shelter in our friends, but fear our vulnerability. We lose ourselves in our relationships. Always trying to be what we are not while trying to be who we are. So confused many of us are.

So we try to figure it out. We discuss, analyze, over think, cry, break down, toughen up, fight and still no idea who we are. Yet women still the same. Truth is, we are just that, women. We are tough, capable of many things. We are vulnerable and weak. We are amazing and smart. And yes, we are a little bit crazy. But most importantly we are His, the creator.

If we as women, stop worrying how the world views us, stop trying to be something we are not and start embracing the amazing beings we are; those who love us and those who fear us are in for a major surprise. So what if she has three kids and an amazing husband and you don't. So what if she just won the gold medal and you didn't. So what if she just published that book and you can't even get your career started. So what. Who are you? look in the mirror. Did God not take great pride when He created you for this world? Did God not create you for this whole world? Stop wondering why you are here and start seeing why you are here. A woman will only become confident in who she is when she realizes she was created with a purpose far greater than the purpose of a man.

We fight so hard to be like our men or better than our men or equal to our men; but that is not our fight. Our fight is with ourselves. Listen to who your are, listen when God tells you, you are beautiful. You have to be quite, He speaks volumes but you need to turn everything else down to hear Him. If you are a mother embrace how rad you are just loving your children and taking care of your home. If you are infiltrating your career, embrace your hard work and intelligence. Grab your guitar and sing, your easel and paint. Let go of all the things you supposedly can't do or were never able to do, your not dead. You have a life right in front of you, live it. Stop trying to figure out how you are supposed to be, what you are supposed to do and start enjoying you. You are here for a purpose and if your whole purpose is caught up in everything that everyone else says then you are missing you and missing your purpose. You do something better than she does and she does something better than you do. Don't be jealous, don't feel inadequate, don't be afraid. Wear you silly socks with your slippers, your sexy blazer with your heels, your boots with your dickies or your tennis shoes with your hair in a pony tail. Just do you.

Those who love you will not try to change you and those who try to change you don't really love you.

Day Two, 2013

I had goals to start this blog with a super positive, go woman type of post. I activated this "welcome 2013" blog on the first day of 2013,  managed to type out a bunch of words; yet, it took me all day to not finish. what I learned that day, is that I have no idea how to sit still. I always have to be doing something, productive or not, but something still the same. I went a little crazy on the first day of 2013; but, that was OK. Something else I learned as 2012 came to a close and 2013 began, was the importance of the relationships I began to build. Strong female relationships. Never knew how important it was to have girlfriends and not just a best friend, or a boyfriend or husband; but girlfriends. 

This was the original motivation to this blog I created here. I wanted to express the value I have realized in regards to the relationships I was able to build. Since the beginning of my adventure out of my parents house and into the world of real, I never knew the importance of relationship building. I was an individual always on the go. Tough and stubborn, full of pride and ambition. I didn't have time to stop. In those tough times when a friend would normally come and be at your side, I was without. I would only let this bother for a minute or two, lace up my boots and carry on. My trust in people was broken at a young age and my heart became barred. It took me three years before I would fully allow myself to learn my best friend as my best friend. I built one solid relationship after her and after that I had my dog. For the longest time I was quite content on not letting anyone else in. 

Sure trust, love, and the revealing of ones true self can take time. Yet, when all us stubborn, prideful women who are genuinely afraid; let their guards down, even slightly, we can then, come together. This is the best thing that happened to me in 2012. 2012 the year of dramatic change. Dramatic for me, yes. Only a few major changes; like losing an apartment, moving in with strangers, losing a dog, losing a boyfriend, losing an identity in the form of identity theft. Add on the things some of my girlfriends went through, good or bad and I'll say I agree with that saying. Needless to say I was well prepared to ring; toss out 2012. Good riddens year of dramatic change. Good riddens the previous years before. Too much dramatic change, I'm ready for solid consistency. 

I believe I am beginning to find that, consistency. Yeah, I have amazing females in my life and several solid men. Yet it is the women who carry each other. We understand, we relate, we talk, we get it. These relationships will carry me all the way to the end. Some may grow distant others will grow stronger. Yet, begin they all will. No longer will I be afraid to open my heart; share my journey, my struggles and my battles; seek advice, accept words, and enjoy a glass of wine, with the amazing women in my life. Cheers to all who have entered my life in 2012, much gratitude to those who were there long before. You are all amazing and I am honored to call you my friend; thank you. And thank you 2012, you have been a shitaly amazing year!